Solace in solitude

These day I am becoming more and more frust. Nothing cheers me up .All those things which not so long ago use to cheer me up and now killing me with boredom. I think that my frustration is now spilling out and I end up hurting or frustating people around me and polluting the envoironment around me. I have started looking out for faults in everyone around me except myself. I don’t enjoy talking to anyone mainly because there is nothing that interest me now .

The only thing that give me solace is my solitude. There is a different kind of peace in absolute solitude. In absolute solitude you can relax your mind and can keep it vacant for a long time. Most of problems are nothing but creation of our mind. If anyone can control it he or she can stimulate emotions at his or her will . Solitude gives the time to reflects the proceedings in detail and to analyze the situation in better light. Sometime when we are emotional we may rush into the decision but that is not always right because at that time our wisdom is overcome by emotions. I am not saying that all action should be based on wisdom always or everything should be thoroughly thought . This will certainly kill the wonderfulness of unpredictability and surprises. But sometimes you have to think even after doing something that what could be the repercussions of your actions and how it reveals itself to others. Before coming here I never enjoyed the loneliness .It was like pain to me , I always used to rush to company whenever I was alone .But these days I am finding solace in my solitude .I am more than often going for a long walk completely engrossed in myself and not giving a damn care to the surroundings. Though I could not find a complete aloof place as a live in relatively busy area but still I try to remain in myself even in crowds. In absolute privacy things are clearer to me. I can easily see that all problem are within me not in others. I am in habit of blaming other for every little problem I have and recently I realized that actually it’s not others but my own follies and shortcomings are the reason for my frustration. When I am all alone I try not to think about others because right now I not at all in state to appreciate the wonderfulness of others behaviors so I confine my thought about myself. I always tend to analyze that how my action would affect others if I think that some of my action is improper that I unforgettably say sorry for that. I try my best to keep clean from myself. When a spend more than an hour all by self with no disturbance at all I come back very light and fresh. Many personal problems are well sorted out during that period with best possible actions with all pros and cons properly analyzed. Not only that I pick out all the wrongdoings of mine, I also think of all possible amendments to rectify them. But the only problem is the wrong notion about being loner. I am fast becoming infamous in my circle that I am frust man. People always suggest me that company is good and loneliness is hell. But it is fine as I am more than happy in my hell and I don’t want to share it with anybody. I am fed up with all artificial countenances around me and I want to be natural myself. That may be not as handsome after all makeup but hey that’s me . I enjoy the nakedness of my inner self when I am all alone I feel connected to nature and god. I feel that why to rely upon something whose basis is external why not to seek solution of all problem inside us . Why to crib about the world outside why not enjoy the whole universe as master of it which dwells inside? Why to cry about others what is more important than self? So I found a new hobby talking to myself. People will think that its mad but you know that this madness will give me a veil from the external. It will conceal the things which are too precious for me to share with anyone.